100 Original Fat Jokes That Are Funny, Not Cruel

Fat jokes come in all shapes and sizes, but not all of them land well. Too often, what’s labeled as “funny fat jokes” ends up being offensive or outdated. This post is different.

Here, you’ll find 100 of the best fat jokes: clever, creative, and body-positive. They’re designed to make people laugh, not cry. From your momma so fat jokes that hit with wit, to good fat jokes inspired by history, pop culture, and everyday life, we’re serving humor with a side of self-awareness.

Whether you’re into classic “yo mama so fat jokes,” quirky one-liners, or clever puns, this list delivers jokes you can actually enjoy and share guilt-free. We’ve even included the best yo mama so fat jokes for those who love that old-school vibe, but rewritten for modern sensibilities.

So grab a snack (or a second one), get cozy, and dive into the best fat jokes on the internet. Everyone deserves a laugh that feels good.

Heavy on Humor: 20 Fat Jokes You Can’t Resist:

• “I’m not big-boned, I’m just structurally sound — earthquake-proof, in fact.”
• “I tried intermittent fasting, but my cravings didn’t get the memo about the schedule.”
• “My scale and I are in a toxic relationship — it gaslights me every morning.”
• “I don’t need a fitness tracker. I track my emotional damage every time I pass a bakery.”
• “I’m not overweight, I’m just full of personality. Unfortunately, it’s spread evenly across my waistline.”
• “My jeans and I had a falling out. Literally. They couldn’t hold it together anymore.”
• “Some people run marathons. I sprint when I hear ‘last slice of pizza.’”
• “I went to a spin class once — spun around, walked out, and ate a muffin.”
• “The only thing I lift is my self-esteem after every slice of cheesecake.”
• “I do yoga. I mean, I say yoga while lying on a donut pillow. Same zen, less effort.”
• “My six-pack is just hiding under years of well-curated comfort.”
• “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and it mysteriously disappears.”
• “Every time someone says ‘portion control,’ I assume it’s a new Marvel villain.”
• “I identify as thin. My scale just hasn’t accepted my truth yet.”
• “They said I was ‘big energy’ — turns out they meant my shadow blocks WiFi.”
• “I tried keto once. But my brain kept spelling it cheeto.”
• “I don’t get hangry. I get pan-gourmet — a mix of passion and carbs.”
• “My fridge lights up like a runway. I call it emotional airport security.”
• “I don’t count calories. I count blessings — usually in donut form.”
• “My treadmill is in perfect condition. It’s never been emotionally burdened by use.”

Quack up with funny ducklines – Duck Puns and Jokes

20+ Geeky Fat Jokes That Weigh in Across the Multiverse:

• “I tried teleportation, but my mass overloaded the quantum tunnel. I now live in three dimensions… simultaneously.”
• “When I sit on the Iron Throne, it becomes the Iron Ottoman — comfort first, conquest later.”
• “My lightsaber is powered by calories. One Twinkie = one duel.”
• “Aliens abducted me, scanned my body, and upgraded their ship’s suspension system out of respect.”
• “Gandalf told me I shall not pass… the buffet table twice. I ignored him.”
• “I joined the Avengers. My superpower? Turning gravity into a personality trait.”
• “I’m not plus-size — I’m just built for intergalactic atmospheres.”
• “I visited a parallel universe where I’m thin. That version of me is miserable and misses bread.”
• “I asked for a Dragonborn helmet. They gave me a salad bowl instead. Said it fit the lore.”
• “My horcrux is a burrito. Destroy it, and I disappear into a pile of queso dust.”
• “In space, no one can hear you crunch — which is why I snack there guilt-free.”
• “The One Ring didn’t make me invisible. It just gave me muffin tops in three realms.”
• “I summoned a food golem. It’s made of cheesecake. It keeps hugging me.”
• “Cyberpunk 2077 predicted flying cars. I predicted flying calories. Guess who was right?”
• “I was chosen as the Chosen One… mostly because I bring snacks to every prophecy.”
• “I cast ‘Mass Expansion.’ Now every chair is a throne, and every stair is a betrayal.”
• “Doctor Strange saw 14 million timelines. In all of them, I still chose nachos.”
• “I challenged a wizard to a duel. He used ‘Slimmify.’ I countered with ‘Thiccify Maximus.’”
• “I’m not out of shape. I’m just shaped like a space station — round, functional, and full of surprises.”
• “The force is strong with me — mostly because it’s reinforced with donuts and destiny.”

Mash up laughs with potatoes – Potato Puns and Jokes

20 Historical Fat Jokes That Changed the Course of Laughter:

• “In ancient Rome, I wasn’t fat — I was ‘prosperity made flesh.’ Caesar himself would’ve hired me as a monument.”
• “Leonardo da Vinci tried to sketch me once. He gave up and just labeled me ‘Voluminous Proportions of the Divine.’”
• “In medieval times, I would’ve been considered a feast. Now I’m just the guy who finishes one.”
• “The French Revolution wasn’t about bread. It was about who got the last croissant. Spoiler: it was me.”
• “I told Napoleon I’d charge into battle after lunch. He never waited. Who’s the short-sighted one now?”
• “They say Marie Antoinette said, ‘Let them eat cake.’ I said, ‘Only if they share it first.’”
• “I applied for the role of the Greek god of abundance. They told me I was the portfolio.”
• “My Viking name is Thørst — god of gravy.”
• “The Renaissance celebrated the fullness of form. I’m a walking Sistine Chapel of snacks.”
• “I once sat on a Victorian fainting couch. It fainted.”
• “They wanted to sculpt me like Michelangelo’s David. But marble refused out of sheer intimidation.”
• “Historians argue about the size of Genghis Khan’s empire. I say — measure it in buffet tables, not land.”
• “In ancient Egypt, my body was so revered it needed two sarcophagi and a snack drawer.”
• “Cleopatra had her milk baths. I prefer mine with Oreos. We all rule differently.”
• “I wasn’t a knight. I was the round table. King Arthur still owes me royalties.”
• “Shakespeare wrote, ‘Heavy is the head that wears the crown.’ Mine just needed extra padding.”
• “At the Boston Tea Party, I didn’t dump the tea. I steeped it… then dunked scones in it.”
• “The only plague I spread in the 14th century was the need for extra portions.”
• “If Socrates had met me, he’d ask, ‘Why do we exist?’ And I’d say, ‘For second dinner.’”
• “My idea of history repeating itself is accidentally eating the same dessert twice in one day.”

Bloom with petal-perfect punchlines – Flower Puns and Jokes

20 Fat Fitness Jokes That Lift Spirits, Not Dumbbells:

• “I downloaded a fitness app. It asked for my goals. I typed ‘absurdly soft power’ — it crashed.”
• “My personal trainer ghosted me after I bench-pressed a bag of chips mid-session.”
• “I joined a CrossFit class. After 10 minutes, I became a cross person and left to fit into a diner booth.”
• “I don’t sweat, I cry politely from the pores.”
• “My fitness coach said, ‘Let’s activate your core.’ I said, ‘Sure. It’s in hibernation.’”
• “I did burpees once. They did me dirtier than any ex ever could.”
• “Yoga told me to find balance. I said, ‘I did — between this pizza slice and inner peace.’”
• “I tried keto, but I missed the emotional depth of bread.”
• “My gym has mirrors everywhere. I call it ‘The Hall of Quiet Judgment.’”
• “Intermittent fasting made me appreciate my relationship with snacks. We’re stronger now.”
• “I once ran a 5K… in Call of Duty. I carb-loaded to honor the experience.”
• “I joined a spin class. I now walk with the trauma of that seat forever etched into my glutes.”
• “They asked me to plank. I said, ‘Like a pirate? Sure.’”
• “My Fitbit filed a missing person report. We haven’t spoken since last winter.”
• “Weightlifting? I lifted my hopes once. That was enough.”
• “I don’t lift dumbbells. I carry generational trauma — much heavier.”
• “My personal best? Once ate 40 chicken nuggets during a yoga stream.”
• “They say fitness is a journey. So is ordering tacos at 1 a.m. I’m just choosing my path.”
• “My gym playlist is just food ASMR. Works as motivation and punishment.”
• “Gym people say ‘no pain, no gain.’ I say, ‘no shame, more cake.’”

Crack up with bold humor – Deez Nuts Jokes

20 Fat Office Jokes That Deserve a Raise (and a Snack):

• “HR said we need ergonomic chairs. I said, ‘No worries, I am the ergonomic curve.’”
• “I’m not big — I’m just the human version of a rolling office chair: round, comfy, and impossible to stop once I get going.”
• “My keyboard has food crumbs from 2019. It’s basically an archaeological dig at this point.”
• “They asked for team-building activities. I suggested group stretching — specifically toward the snack table.”
• “Every time I stand from my desk, Outlook schedules it as a seismic event.”
• “My cubicle walls can’t contain me — not emotionally, not calorically.”
• “They gave me a standing desk. I use it to elevate my snacks for dramatic effect.”
• “Zoom only shows you from the chest up. Below? I’m business casual with nacho crumbs.”
• “I brought doughnuts once. Now they treat me like a department deity.”
• “My corporate wellness plan? Strategic snack storage and zero sudden movement.”
• “They said ‘take initiative,’ so I started organizing the breakroom fridge by sauce type.”
• “Lunch breaks are sacred. Mine begin around 10:45 and end emotionally around 3.”
• “I’m not slow at replying — I just type better with a fork in one hand.”
• “Slack asked, ‘What’s your status?’ I typed: ‘Mentally present, physically burrito-shaped.’”
• “They said we were streamlining processes. I thought they meant cake slicing.”
• “The vending machine once refused my dollar. I threatened to sit on it. It complied.”
• “Corporate said, ‘Dress for the job you want.’ I wore a bib. I want to be a food critic.”
• “I’m not padding the time sheet — I’m padding the seat sheet.”
• “I took a personal day to reflect. Reflected mostly on pizza grease.”
• “Team synergy is real — especially when we all decide to order from the same food truck.”

Your complete collection of laughs – Ultimate Jokes Guide

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Grin and bear these jokes – Bear Puns and Jokes

Conclusion: Fat Jokes That Hit Different, and That’s the Point

Let’s be honest: the internet is packed with fat jokes to make someone cry. But that’s not what comedy should do.

Instead of cruel punchlines, this collection of funny fat jokes delivers smart laughs with zero shame. Whether it was the good fat jokes about gym life, the your so fat jokes from the fantasy multiverse, or your momma so fat jokes with a clever twist, these jokes were designed to lift moods, not tear anyone down.

So if you came looking for the best fat jokes that are actually shareable, safe, and hilarious, we hope this list delivered. Feel free to bookmark it, share it, or even use it as your go-to for those “yo mama so fat jokes” that are funny without being mean.

Because in a world full of judgment, a thick laugh is the best kind of rebellion.